Tara's Testimony
"My life was a mission: get
drunk"
My religious foundation
started very young. I was eight or nine when
I joined Seaville U.M.C.
from another church. I immediately became
very active in Sunday School
and Youth Group. My spiritual life was
on fire and what I thought
to be solid until I got involved with a guy
I met in Sea Isle.
We started just hangin'
out but soon he became my
life. I would lie
to my parents about where I was just to be with
him. As we grew closer
I found that he was heavily into drugs and
alcohol. As most
of the world, I had been taught my whole life to
"just say no." This
tactic gradually wore off as I went to more
parties. I became
more and more curious until eventually I was
hooked. I was completely
blinded by the attention I was receiving. I
didn't even realize that
I wasn't in control anymore. During the next
year, the guy and I became
very serious. It got to the point where
doing drugs and drinking
were commonplace and sex was expected. I was
always sad or irritable
if I wasn't somehow intoxicated. I was losing
frustrated friends and
my parents were starting to catch on. This
caused me to sink deeper
and deeper into my depression until I hit
rock bottom.
My fear of being rejected
by my real friends or caught by my parents
helped me to see what I
was doing. My church family and friends made
it a lot easier to come
back to Christ. Everyone welcomed me with
open arms.
I involved myself in as
much as I could in hopes that staying busy
would keep me clean.
I went on several youth trips but of them all,
Creation '98 played the
biggest role in motivating me to change. At
first I was hesitant to
go. I wasn't sure if I could stay straight
for five whole days.
It was rough, and I was irritable (right Stan?),
but it was a good place
to start. A lot came out during that trip. A
lot more than I think anyone
knew. It made me feel so much better to
know that there were people
that truly cared.
At first I didn't feel
right about asking God for forgiveness.
Partially because I knew
I was going against the moral judgement He
taught me, and partially
because I wasn't over the addiction.
Getting over my addictions
was the single hardest and most complicated
thing I've ever tried to
do. Thankfully the drugs were the easy part.
Unfortunately though, I
was a three-year smoker, so that was rough.
However, alcohol is a different
story. It doesn't totally run my life
like it used to, but it
controls enough of it to scare me. I don't
know if I'll ever be able
to come home from school on a Friday
afternoon and stay sober.
It's almost been a year
and my life has changed so much. Now, when
I'm faced with temptation,
I feel God pushing and encouraging me to
say no. He has brought
me so far. I no longer rely on drugs for a
high. I feel much
stronger and sometimes I even have the opportunity
to help others with their
addictions. I've learned that nothing can
ever compare to the high
you get from sharing fellowship in Christ.
With the continued help of God and
my church friends, I hope to soon
close this chapter of my life and
move on.
